Friday , April 19 2024

The Top 10 Things You Can’t Do At All

What do mutants, metahumans, and that weird kid from junior high have in common? They can do things with their bodies that you can’t do. They can be either impressive, mildly amusing or downright gross. Thankfully, we don’t all need to have a genetic defect or a bad childhood to learn some of these weird skills. Some of us regular folks are blessed with the ability to do some amazing things with their bodies that are sure to draw attention at family dinner. Apart from the obvious “shooting fireballs out of your hands”, let’s take a look at some of the things you probably can’t do. The good news is, most (if not all) of them are entirely useless.

10. Lick your own elbow

Apparently some people can do this. You’ll instantly know if one of your friends is part of this select group, since they’re pretty much the vegans of weird body tricks. But at least this would help me with that horrendous elbow itch I sometimes get. I guess visiting a doctor could fix that too. It’s 50/50.

9. Auto-fellatio

Also known as “giving up entirely”, auto-fellatio is the act of a male specimen pleasuring himself orally. It’s cheaper than resorting to prostitutes, although the shame will cost you dearly. Turns out about 2 or 3 guys in every 1000 can do this. Just another experiment I’m glad to not have been a part of. Picture related to the attempts made by the other 997 dudes.

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