There is no exact recipe for a happy and great relationship. In fact, most relationships consist of two people coming together from different backgrounds and with different experiences for one reason: to make the said relationship work in a way that both partners are happy.
For most couples relationships typically start out in a flurry of passion and excitement and once the so-called ‘honeymoon phase’ is over, partners report feeling bored as life settles into daily routines.
While it’s absolutely normal to feel bored, it’s important to understand the reasons behind it and read the signs that are indicative of this condition.
1. You wait for occasions or specifics days to celebrate. Why?
You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s day, anniversaries or even birthdays to celebrate each other. Be on the lookout for both big and small reasons to celebrate: he beat all his friends in a video game, she learned how to bake a cake or you guys went for your first run together. Never stop having fun with each other.
2. You don’t ‘keep tabs’ on each other. We’re talking the good kinds.
The idea of keeping score in a relationship is very unhealthy if it’s done the wrong way. What we recommend is ‘keeping tabs’ about all the good things your partner does for you. For instance, the night they were up all night with you because you had a deadline to meet or if your partner surprised you with tickets to a movie you really wanted to watch. Keeping tabs and continuing to do these small things for each other with no expectation in return is is one of the quickest ways to take your relationship from good to great.
3. You’ve stopped flirting with each other.
When was the last time you told her she is really beautiful? When was the last time you called him charming? In long-term relationships, partners get so comfortable with each other that even saying “I love you” is taken for granted. Keep up the flirting even years into a relationship because only then will things be exciting in bed and beyond.
4. Stop spending literally EVERY minute together. Give each other space.
When you spend a majority of time together, it’s typical to get tired of this one person. That’s why it’s imperative for you to spend time away from them. Go out with your friends, cook a meal for your parents or spend time annoying your siblings. Because spending time away will naturally make you value time you spend with your partner, when together.
5. You’ve started taking your partner for granted.
In long-term relationships, when couples fight one partner is always more relaxed because of this pre-conceived notion: “So what if she isn’t speaking to me right now, eventually she will.” If that’s how you think then you are doomed simply because instead of owning up and making things okay you are taking for granted the fact that your partner loves you. And please, if things get really bad, they WILL leave. So bury this form of thinking and don’t give each other reasons to be mad.
6. You’re purposely putting off having an argument.
While the aim is to not fight like cats and dogs, it’s healthy to have arguments simply because you are giving each other the chance to vent out whatever is bothering or hurting them. While on the surface not fighting looks really good, deep down it shows that you as a couple are not engaged enough and that’s quite problematic. Fight till the time you guys make up and forget what you fought over once the issue is resolved.
7. You guys don’t have a secret language yet.
We don’t mean picking up a foreign language to keep yourself from getting bored. It could be a secret look that says ‘Let’s get out of here.’ Or maybe you have a secret code word for someone you hate. The more a couple uses a secret language–including silly nicknames and made up terms–the higher their relationship satisfaction. So go out and be as cute as possible. It’s going to be good for the both of you.
Life is too short to miss out on a great person because things weren’t exciting enough. Keep these rules in mind and you can actually have a relationship you are proud of.