As a kid of the ’90s, I had my romantic coming-of-age occur in the midst of a digital revolution. While my sister had to learn how to flirt the hard way — you knowm with spoken word under the heat of human interaction — I got to learn on the internet. The concept of a one-liner for my generation was really just that.
When I had a crush on someone, I’d add them to my buddy list. If they IMed me, we’d have some slow-burn textual romance that might unfold over the course of a year and it might not even be acknowledged offline. My language of love is best expressed with a QWERTY keyboard. I grew up to be the kind of girlfriend who would get quiet over dinner when she had something important to say, only to wait until the date was over so that I could text what I had to say from the safety of my own apartment.
The way I relate to people in relationships now, as an adult, is often via text. I like “Good morning” texts and I like “Night ” texts and I like “I’m thinking of you” texts. But the person I’m dating right now didn’t grow up online. And he prefers to talk when we see each other, or talk on the phone. For the first few months of our relationship I was completely convinced he wasn’t interested in me or didn’t ever think of me because what our generation considers “care” is constant contact. There have definitely had to be a few compromises along the way, to bridge the gap cyber space allowed for. These are 11 ways you, too can learn to cope with having a partner who doesn’t like to text:
Look At It As A Gift
The best thing you can hope for in a relationship is a partner whom you can learn from. Try out their way of seeing communication and relationships and see if it can enrich your view of the subject. It might actually make be a nice change for you.
Focus On Being Present
When we’re plugged into our partners on our phones, we’re not paying attention to the people we’re with. It affects the way we are as employees and friends. Not being tied to your phone allows you to be much more in the moment. It’s really not the worst thing.