No, I’m not lonely. No, I do not want you to set me up. No, I’m not secretly dating anyone.
Single by choice! Have you ever heard about that??
1. You’re so good-looking, why aren’t you dating anyone?
Yeah, like that’s what my looks need to be utilised for.
2. “Don’t worry, it will happen soon for you”
Who said I’m looking!
3. “Is there someone in your life that we don’t know about?”
I’m in love with pizza. Yes. That’s the truth.
4. “Are you scared of commitments?”
Yes, I am, of committing to this conversation.
5. “What do you do on Valentine’s Day?”
6. “Don’t you get lonely?”
No, my dog loves me unconditionally.
7. “What’s it like to be single?”
I can’t tell you that, but I can show you what it like is to get punched. In the face.
8. “It’s such a good feeling to be in love, you should experience it”
9. “Are you gay?”
That would still require me to date. You bozo!
10. “Are you in a sort of a…. One sided love?”
You mean, like this conversation?
11. “You need to lower your standards, you’re too picky”
I’m not ordering food at a restaurant ok? This is about love!
12. “Arranged marriage karni hai kya?”
Haan. par please tum setting mat karana.
13. “You’re going to die alone”
Hush. Now that you’ve come to that conclusion, can you quit bothering?