Relationships are like roses. They can be nurtured to become beautiful, or they can wither into nothingness. While the longevity of relationships can withstand much more than a rose, one partner cheating on another is practically sabotaging every thing they had together.
For those who know what it feels like and are still finding it hard to come to terms with reality, here are some stories from people who experienced it and powered through.
These are just some of the responses we found on Reddit and Quora.
1. Understand that it’s not your fault
For me it was all about realizing that it wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t because I didn’t love her enough, or that I didn’t give her enough space or whatever the slew of excuses were. It was because she was a shitty person.
That for me was the hardest part to swallow because after so many years you think you know a person. Then all of the sudden that shatters around you and you cant come to grips with the fact that it was a lie.
Keep your head up and remember, it’s not your fault.
2. Realise that yesterday is history
Time heals everything, for now you will feel down, depressed, angry irritated. It’s ok, but everyday it keeps changing. Don’t push yourself to forget, in that way you will never. Let it be, let it go naturally, just do what you need to.
Time to think about yourself, present and future!…..the past cannot be changed.
3. Stop obsessing
For a long time, I didn’t. I thought something was wrong with me. Why else would the guy who claimed I was the love of his life cheat on me with his ex? I obsessed over it for a few months.
And then I realized there wasn’t anything wrong with me. He was just a lying scumbag who wanted to have his cake and eat it too.
4. Forgive and forget
He cheated on me and I was devastated. Devastated because he was everything I wanted in a man and it’s hard to get over a person with whom you make beautiful memories.
I’m grateful that the negativity in me has gone and I have found it within myself to forgive his mistakes. It’s been two years, and I’m a better woman than I was yesterday.
5. Make a fixed plan
Deleted Facebook, hit the gym, and had sex with someone else. I didn’t really need a lawyer in my situation.
6. Don’t take a break
My girlfriend at the time would never admit to the cheating, even though I knew it was true. The best way to get over it is to see as many other people as possible in a short amount of time. It doesn’t even have to lead to as much as a kiss. But meeting new people and talking to them will help you get over them quickly.
7. Give them another chance
I am someone who stayed in the relationship after their partner cheated. Yes, I heard a lot of people tell me I am dumb, and what not. But, I started dating my significant other when we were 16 or 17 years old. So after a while, we went through a stage of “what if”, and he did some things with another girl.
I checked myself into a 10 day silent meditation and made a pact that I’d use the time to forgive. That’s the key. The faster you can forgive them, the faster you move on. Oh and make a list of the awesome things you can do now that you couldn’t do with them.
9. Erase them from your memory
I burned all of the presents he bought me and pretend I don’t know who he is. Some friends like to give me updates on his life “He’s dating an ugly chick.” “He’s gotten so fat.” “I heard he’s something something random shit” and I go blank eyes and go “Who? Do I know him?”
We weren’t really dating, but when I found out, I decided to withdraw, only to fall into his arms again. It was an on an off affair, that practically ruined me. It was only until I opened up about it to my friends who made me realise he wasn’t worth my time. As of now, I’ve stopped trying because I’ve learnt from my mistakes.
11. Look for happiness elsewhere
I was devastated when my boyfriend cheated on me and dumped me to be with a rich man. It made me hate myself for days until my mother suggested I take up volunteer work at an old age home.
It made me realise how happy I feel when I can help make someone else’s day better. Not only did I get over him, it made me realise what my ex and the rich man have isn’t love.